I'll see you soon but I'll talk to you sooner
by Jens s
Summary: Open your eyes and live again and I'll open my heart and love again


**Warnings:** AU, KagaKise. Angst. Written for KagaKise day. (Also brief mentions of KuroMomo)

(Recommended listening: Simon by Suede and Eclipse by Nujabes)

* * *

The ring is still on Kise's finger. Even though it still fits, it looks somehow out of place among all the cords attached to his arm.

"Hey Kise. How's it going?"

Kise's hair looks like a halo with the way it's spread around his head on the pillow. Kagami reaches out to arrange a few strands away from Kise's face, letting his finger caress his cheek in the process.

"Everyone tells me I shouldn't visit you every day but I can't just stay home when I know you're here."

No matter how hard Kagami squeezes Kise's hand, it doesn't move. And no matter how many times Kagami comes here, the lack of response always makes him blink back tears.

"I wish you'd wake up soon. I miss you a lot, you know?"

After Kagami stops talking, the only sound in the room is the beeping of the machine that keeps Kise alive.

* * *

Kagami keeps checking his phone multiple times a day, even though mostly it stays quiet. Kise used to text him all the time, even call a lot when they couldn't see each other for a while, and even though it's been months since Kise last was awake, Kagami finds himself waiting for the ping of a new message. Sometimes his friends call or text, asking him to hang out, but he rejects; if he accepted, he'd have no time to visit Kise, would he?

(He's probably stupid for making his life revolve around Kise but rational thinking has long since left him.)

Whenever he gets a call from the hospital, his heart stops. It could be the best news he's ever had, or then the worst, and he's not quite ready for either. Still, he picks up every time – and is disappointed. It's always the same: Kise shows signs of getting better but he's still not recovering consciousness.

And to be quite honest, each passing day drains Kagami's hope just a little more.

"…I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore…" Kagami raises Kise's limp hand, threading their fingers together. The ring on Kise's finger isn't the right size for him anymore; Kagami pushes it a little to keep it in place. "I need you to open your eyes, okay? Please Kise, you can't just…"

(It's cold on the day Kagami finally goes through with his plan. He hasn't seen Kise for almost a month and it's killing him; he's so in love that each day they spend apart hurts. And if the whiny messages Kise's been flooding his phone with lately are any indication, the model isn't doing much better.

Sometimes Kagami wishes Kise would quit his job so they'd have more time together. But then he sees the way Kise's eyes light up when he talks about work, how much he loves it, and it becomes impossible to ask him to give up something so dear to him.

Kise practically tackles him into a hug when they finally do meet. "Kagamicchi, it's been so long! I missed you so bad!"

The hug is followed by a kiss, as full of enthusiasm as the blond, and even though Kagami thinks he should push Kise back (they're in public for crying out loud!), he doesn't. He just lets it happen, melting into the other's lips, hugging him close until they have to part to breathe.

"I love you," Kise whispers, puffing hot air right into Kagami's mouth. Kagami blushes, mumbling something about how embarrassing Kise is. Kise just grins, completely happy now that they're together again.

This is it, the moment Kagami has been waiting for. The moment to take a leap of faith (and it's not even that scary, he's seen the way Kise looks at him eyes full of love and trust and just fuck, he _needs_ to do this).

"Kise, I… we've been together for a long time, and…"

Completely at a loss for words, Kagami just slips the ring into Kise's hand and hopes he gets the meaning. A moment passes in silence as Kise inspects the cool metal band; Kagami is sure his heart beat can be heard miles away.

"Kagamicchi, is this…" It's as if Kise doesn't dare to finish the sentence in fear of somehow making it untrue. Kagami can only nod, his mouth dry and lips glued together.

It takes a few moments still before Kise raises his head to look Kagami in the eye again. But eventually he does, and says "Yes, of course it's a yes, Kagamicchi! How could it be anything else?"

The smile Kise gives him then is blinding.)

* * *

Kuroko looks up tiredly as Kagami enters the room. "Hello, Kagami-kun."

"Hey." Kagami walks to the bed. Kise looks as beautiful as ever, even if his skin is getting paler and paler and he has definitely lost some weight. "Anything new?"

Kuroko shakes his head.

"Didn't really think so." With a bitter laugh Kagami draws a chair to sit next to Kuroko. "But one can always hope, right?"

"…right." Kuroko looks away. The dark circles under his eyes are very prominent on his pale skin, and Kagami can't help but feel bad for him.

"You shouldn't lose sleep over him," Kagami says quietly, barely audible over the beeping of Kise's life support. "It's bad enough that I do."

"He's important to me too, Kagami-kun. And I can spend my time however I want."

"But you have your own life to live. And don't tell me that I do too because I don't. I proposed to Kise because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. And now that he's here… my life's here too."

Kuroko smiles faintly even as his eyes are filled with sadness. "You love him very much."

"…I do," Kagami confirms, fiddling with the ring on his left hand. The matching one Kise wears is about to fall off due to the blond having lost weight; Kagami reaches out a hand to adjust it so it won't slip to the floor.

"I'm glad. Kise-kun love- loves you very much too." Kuroko stumbles over his words; Kagami is sure he was going to say 'loved'. He can't really blame him, sometimes Kagami himself feels like giving up hope. But he won't, not yet. It hasn't been that long yet. There have been stories of people waking up from comas even after years, right?

Kuroko gets up and stretches. "I'll be going now, I'm having dinner with Momoi-san."

"Dinner? Is it a date?"

Kuroko's expression doesn't change but there's the slightest hint of red on his cheeks as he walks past Kagami to get to the door. "Maybe," is all he says. Kagami smiles.

"Kise's going to be happy to hear about that."

For a fleeting moment it seems like Kuroko's going to say something but then he doesn't, instead opening the door and slipping into the hallway. Kagami turns to Kise.

"So, wanna hear about my day?"

* * *

"Kagamin! Wait up!"

The following day it isn't Kuroko who makes it to the hospital at the same time as Kagami, it's Momoi. She's tied her hair up and seems to be wearing a bit more make-up than usual; it could be just Kagami's imagination but she seems to glow a little as she skips the rest of the way to him.

"You're later than usual," Kagami remarks in the lift.

Momoi blushes a bit. "Oh, I stayed up late yesterday talking to Tetsu-kun. He wanted to come today too but he's busy with work."

"Kuroko? Wait, are you two…"

She doesn't say anything but her face goes just a little redder. Kagami chuckles as they step out of the lift and make their way into Kise's room. The sun's shining in a bit too brightly, almost blinding them both, so Kagami goes to close the curtains before seating himself beside the bed.

"Kise would be happy to know you two finally got together. He was always trying to set you up, wasn't he?" Kagami smiles, taking Kise's hand into his. Momoi goes even redder.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out suddenly, sounding almost teary.

Caught by surprise, Kagami looks at her. "Why?"

"Well, you know, with Ki-chan here…" Momoi's fingers go into the hem of her shirt and start playing with it. "I feel bad for being so happy…"

"Don't be stupid. It's not your fault you sorted out your feelings for each other right now. I mean it really was just a matter of time."

"But-"

"Stop, okay? I'm happy for you, and Kise is too." _Or would be if he was awake_. But he doesn't need to say that out loud. "It's just a coincidence that this happened while Kise's still unconscious. I just hope you won't break up before he wakes up, he'd be devastated."

It looks as if she wants to say something, even opens her mouth, but then decides not to. Instead Momoi nods – but even though she tries to smile, there are silent tears running down her cheeks.

"Hey Kise, wouldn't it be great if we could go on double dates with these two?"

The sound Momoi lets out is a mixture of a sob and laughter.

* * *

During the eighth month of Kise's hospitalisation Kagami misses a day of visiting for the first time. He's been told that he shouldn't go see Kise every day by the staff at the hospital, friends, colleagues and family alike but he hasn't had the heart to do that. He wants to be there for Kise when he finally wakes up, how could he go out for drinks after work or relax in any other way when he knows Kise might just open his eyes right that moment?

But when his boss asks him to stay overtime, well, what can he say? I'm sorry I can't, I have to go to the hospital to hold the hand of my comatose fiancé? Yeah right. So he says yes and smiles and hopes that Kise won't choose today to wake up.

He contemplates calling the hospital to hear if anything at all has happened but then decides against it. They would've called if there had been any changes in Kise's condition, be they for better or for worse, so he should just go to sleep so that tomorrow could come faster; he's going to see Kise again after all, there's no need to worry about anything.

(It's a little scary how fast he can fall asleep once he decides to stop worrying about Kise.)

* * *

"The doctor said you didn't visit Ki-chan yesterday."

Kagami swallows, the guilt for having missed a visit suddenly becoming almost tangible. "I was… busy. Yeah, I had to stay overtime at work and then I was so tired that I just… anyway, they would've called if anything happened so it doesn't really matter."

Shaking her head gently, Momoi raises a hand to make him stop talking. "It's good, you know? It's okay to not think about him every minute you're awake. We've been trying to get you to do that ever since Ki-chan was admitted to the hospital but it's nice to see you've found the will to do that on your own."

"But… I need to be here when he wakes up, you know? He has to know I never left his side. When he wakes up, he's probably going to be all confused and have a lot of questions and…"

"He'll know." Momoi's hand is warm as she wraps it around Kagami's to give him a reassuring squeeze. "Even if you're not here, he'll understand that you have a job and friends and other things to take care of. He'll love you just the same."

Feeling somewhat numb, Kagami only nods. Momoi's right, of course, but he still feels like he needs to be at the hospital as much as he possibly can.

* * *

Not visiting for one day wouldn't be so bad but it isn't the only time. Suddenly Kagami finds himself staying overtime multiple times a week, and even though he feels exhausted after long days at work, he still visits Kise faithfully.

On the long run it starts to wear him out.

"Kise, I'm so sorry but… I love my job. You know that, right? So if I leave and can't come back every day anymore… you'll know I still love you. Because I do. When you wake up, we'll go to America to get married, like we said we would. One drunken driver almost killing you isn't going to change that."

Kise doesn't budge.

* * *

At the start of the tenth month of Kise's coma Kagami rarely has the energy or the time to visit the hospital. He calls Momoi and Kuroko every time he knows they've gone to see Kise, just to hear if there's anything new, but of course there isn't.

Life just goes on for Kagami and Kise isn't as big a part of it as he used to be. If it comes to the worst and Kise never wakes up, Kagami could make it through now. No matter how sad that realisation makes him, he can't help but know it's true.

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you lately." Kise's ring is no longer on his finger; it's on the otherwise empty nightstand next to the bed. Kagami glances at his own ring, still on his left ring finger, and his heart cracks just a little bit more.

"Work's been crazy and I just really need sleep too so…" It used to be so easy to talk to Kise, to imagine all his responses and comments to the things Kagami says. But now Kagami keeps stumbling over words, not finding the right ones or any at all.

Hesitantly Kagami reaches for Kise's hand and caresses it with his thumb. "I still love you, and no matter what happens, I'll never stop thinking about you."

Kise's fingers are cold and so thin it's scary. When was the last time they were wrapped around Kagami's arm, warm, pulling him to go shopping or whatever else? Before, it was easy to remember the feel of Kise's touch but now it's like Kise never was there at all. Now Kagami can hardly remember what Kise's voice sounds like.

_(Kagamicchi, I love you.)_

"But it's been so long and I don't…. I mean I think it'd be better if I just… let go." The room wasn't that blurry just seconds ago, Kagami's eyes must be going weird. Or then he started crying again.

Something wet falls on Kagami's hand. Oh.

"So, you know… if you wake up and I'm not here…" His voice cracks and he's kind of glad for it too. All the things he wants to say are words he's said before, yet Kise hasn't heard them even once; he's getting tired. This room, with its white walls and the white walls, feels more and more suffocating each time he visits.

Soon he won't be able to step through the door anymore without having his lungs collapse.

Wait, was that… "Kise?"

Kagami holds his breath, every fibre of his body suddenly hyper aware of his surroundings. He didn't just imagine the twitch of Kise's fingers in his hold, did he?

He didn't because it happens again, and this time he knows for sure it's Kise. "Can you hear me?"

Kise's lips part the slightest bit and Kagami nearly falls off his chair in his excitement. He should probably call the doctor to tell the news or at least a nurse – but he doesn't. Instead he leans over Kise, eagerly waiting for his eyes to open so he could be the first thing Kise sees upon waking up, just like he's wanted to.

He can't believe he almost gave up hope. How could he, of course Kise would come back, he said he'd give the rest of his life to Kagami, there's never been any doubt about it at all. Kise is back and everything is going to be fine from now on.

("Kagamicchi? Why are you crying?")

* * *

**A/N:** and then they go on a double date with KuroMomo and Kise cries a lot because he's so happy for them and I'm dumb

*ahem* originally inspired by fan art but then I kinda got out of control and yeah, this is the result. I actually had ideas for three stories fo KagaKise but this is the only one that i felt inspired enough to write (I might work on the others at some point though). As always, angst is lovely buuut I don't like killing my main characters so there's a happy ending (plus this is for KagaKise day, how could I ever write a chara death fic to celebrate one of my favourite pairings from knb? D: )

So yeah, angst with a happy ending is 10+ (and feel free to shoot me for taking so long with my other fics but I've had no inspiration to write lately plus there's school stuff to do so ;w;)


End file.
